So I’ve always been in to games & sports. I mean, I get into them whether I’m playing them, watching them, rooting for a team or coaching. Yet I’m just not sure I like it. I LOVE winning. I really dislike losing. I mean, some games, I know I’m going to lose. Baseball, I’m no good at. I know I can lose. But basketball, football, and some others . . . I really want to win. Even card games I’m super into (and Sherry always beats me really bad). Some games I don’t care about, but there are some when I think I really can win and I want to win, but I want to win at all costs. It can be just a card game or even a game with my 3 year old! It’s as if there’s some emotion that arises from deep within me that longs to win. It’s almost an anger. I talk and lobby and do anything I can to make sure things go my way, whether persuade the ref, dive on the floor, yell, or whatever! I mean honestly most of it is pure and intelligent in its strategy and fair in its sports/gamesmanship. But when I get that into it, it literally pains me to lose.
When I win, there is this feeling that is SO good. It’s like I want to tell everyone I know about it and shout it from the top of something very high (said of course like Luigi from the movie Cars). Part of me thinks this is good. Part of me thinks this is bad. I want to be that passionate for souls. I want for the same excitement I have in a silly game to be that for not just sharing Jesus with people, but bringing people into that same close relationship I have with Him that I find SO valuable–the most valuable! Tonight my team won a game. I’m really excited. But I’m also somewhat frustrated that I don’t have the same passion for brining others along with me in my devotion to the Lord. Now I know I can be hard on myself, but at the same time, I want to grow towards this.
Lord, help me. Help me grow close to You in the area of competition. May I compete for things that matter. May I do what your Word says & run the race to win. God, I’m in this life to win it. I don’t like to lose. But I want to win it for what counts. For what matters. You know what’s best. Lead me in that, I pray.
Do you not know that in a race all the runners run, but only one gets the prize? Run in such a way as to get the prize. – 1 Corinthians 9:24